I feel the need to retract a previous recommendation

I really do love everyone.  I think all of the birth oriented sites have some truth to them, and all mean well.  Ethically, we could take Kent’s view and say that since they mean well and really do have the desire to do good, they are performing ethically.  I also understand that there are a bazillion different ways to view ethics, and even Kent – we could also argue that if we were to use a blanket rule based on childbirth education, for example, and insist everyone have a homebirth, it would be unethical, as babies and mothers that are high risk would suffer.  Ethics is tricky, I get it – now I’m off track.

Anyway, as a blog and facebook page with a growing number of fans, I keep my rules simple – you can disagree with me, and that’s cool.  I really like back up to claims.  And I really can’t stand when other bloggers act unprofessionally.

Recently I endorsed The Mom: Informed in a blog post as a blog and page that I recommend following.  As I perused all the sites I follow tonight, I discovered blog posts written as personal attacks.  I don’t know the history of all of this drama, and I really can’t gather it all by quickly scanning the facebook page and blog, but that doesn’t matter to me – I shouldn’t have to hunt for the meaning behind a blog.

What I did see was an extreme level of unprofessionalism.  I know there are “trolls” out there.  I know that depending on who you are, what your beliefs are and what pages you follow you may have specific people or pages that come to mind.  I don’t care who they are – remember, I love everybody.

However, you will never see me compose a blog specifically as a personal attack against another person.  As I mentioned before, I do not know the history here, but I follow a wide range of viewpoints, and no matter what the views are, I do not find personal attacks acceptable, professional, or ethical – no matter which view of ethics I try to take.

So unfortunately I would like to add to this blog that I no longer encourage fans of MEB to follow The Mom: Informed.  I find that while TM:I has some view points that I really appreciate and some blog posts that are great, I cannot endorse a blogger who is personally attacking someone else.  I hope that everyone can understand why I feel that I need to do this – it is not personal by any means, but as a professional I do not feel that I can support and endorse someone who acts this way.

I will be removing TM:I from the list on my previous blog.

I hope everyone understands, and I thank you for following me.

Why I Love Everybody (My Birth Education Cup is Half Full)

There are a lot of birth support/education/discussion groups out there, and they get a lot of good and bad feedback.  Some people dispise one, others may love them.  Here’s what I think of some specific groups/people/mindsets.

Birth Without Fear – While January and I may not always agree, she has her heart in a good place.  I can’t say that I ever DIDN’T feel empowered by giving birth.  But I also can’t imagine what it would have been like to sit in a room waiting for labor to progress with just my husband rather than walking the halls for FOUR HOURS with my CNM by my side the whole way (except for a quick refill of coffee!).  I might be a little more science minded and personally not crazy about the idea of UC’s or birthing at home, I would support someone’s decision to do so AS LONG AS THEY WERE INFORMED.  While January provides a lot of support for these situations, she really deep down has one goal – women to feel empowered after giving birth.  I agree.  I think every single woman should feel supported and then have that after-labor high where they look in the mirror (okay, maybe not that day, exactly…) and say “I DID IT.  I am amazing.  I made a beautiful baby, I brought him/her into the world (no matter HOW), and while I have some stretch marks here and some saggy stuff there, I am BEAUTIFUL.”  Unfortunately in my experience that high only lasts about a month and a half before you’re back to “OMGSTRETCHMARKSFLABBYYUCKYMYBODYISSOGROSS”.  If I could bottle that feeling postpartum and distribute it, not only would I be rich, but we would have some incredibly powerful women in the world.  Yet we can’t.  So January tries to encourage that confidence in other ways – and I’m down with that. 

The Skeptical OB – Sure, sometimes Dr. Amy can come off a little gruff, but she’s got some AMAZINGLY good information on her blog.  If it’s something that seems like it’s not supportive or raises doubt, I do my research and move on.  But there are some great citations and awesome learning opportunities.  While she takes a stance on some issues that are currently hot topics, like homebirth, I believe that you should always research both sides of a debate before coming to your own conclusion.  This is a great place to put together the “other side”, and find some contrasting information and view points.   

Academic OB/GYN –  First off I have to say that Dr. Fogelson does not post enough.  Yes, I said it.  If you’re reading this, I know you are busy with being an OB/GYN and all, but I find your posts to be like crack…. I’m so addicted and I can’t stop.  (Although I’ve never actually tried any recreational drugs, so I guess your blog is as close as I’m getting!)  While some of it may be over your head, if you take a little extra time to figure out what you don’t understand you will be SO informed.  He’s certainly not the scary evil OB type that many people fear – in fact he recently posted this on facebook: “Advancements in hospital birth have created all kinds of reasons to get the baby somewhere other than to the mother, probably for the worse in most cases”.  He’s an OB, scientifically minded, but also so smart and so well-balanced.  I find it hard to believe that someone would have an issue with him.

I think I kind of covered the whole spectrum, didn’t I?  And I certainly didn’t purposely leave anyone out – I just can’t write that long of a blog!

I think what is REALLY important in this crazy mom-blogger-childbirth-blogging world is that we remember to support one another and remember that essentially we are working towards the same goal – patient education.  Just like two Gastroenteronologists may not agree on a treatment or diagnosis, neither will a variety of people with different educational levels and beliefs.  Yet what we do agree is that sometimes things are done wrong, and sometimes birth is perfect – and our goal is to make birth perfect for as many people as we can.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is something to respect and give credit for.